NaruHina: Inseparable (First Draft)
My breath grew shallow as I ran senseless in the world blocking off all comications. Rain drops fell from the pitch black clouds blocking off the bright innocent sun. I was just sick of it,of everything. I wanted to be anywhere but here, but I mostly desired a place of paradise for me. I didn't want to feel the burning pain embed into the strains of my heart again. But was there really such a place where you could feel protected and safe. Doubt overwelmbed me as i knew no matter how much i persuded myself it was true it would simply backfire me.
I slowly came to a stop as tears came flowing down my cheeks without my permission but I couldn’t stop myself just from mere will power. Ever since i started the academy I was consently being bullied about my bloodline. The words now echoed though out the shell of my mind.
“You’re just like your cousin Neji, thinking you are better than the rest of us”
“Yeah just because you have a Byakugan you think you have the advantage than anyone else here”
I wiped my tears away by my sleeve knowing i couldn’t cry about a thing like this or father would be upset about it, I had to prove to him I had to the ability to be strong. Though right now I can’t even stop my legs from shaking. I opened my eyes wanting to know what destation my legs have took me to. The rain grew stronger as my clothes by now were soaking wet but it didn’t matter to me anymore.
I was excatly across the academy seeing it looked gloomer. But mostly in a position next to a timber tree with a swing attached to it with no companions in company.It was a good shading place since rain didn’t pour as hard but sheltered me like a loving mother.
But I wonder why I came here out of the numberless places I can say on the top of my mind. My curiosity stuck now thinking if anyone else knew of this place. I never noticed the swing before but wondered more about who put it there.
“Maybe...this can my paradise” I muttered under my breath only myself could hear. I smiled at the thought of it, seeing already what memories i will make sitting there observing the world in front of me under a microscope. I sat on it while the wood creaked like if it had any more pressure it would snap, but the truth it made me feel relaxed that i felt I could sit here forever.
“Hey! You, what are you doing?” A voice yelled as i realized a firgure was there standing 10 meters away from me. “Sor-sorry I was just sitting here but I’m sorry if I took your seat” I said bowing down. I started walking away in the opposite direction as though i didn’t want to cause him any more trouble of his time.
“Wait!” He said as i stopped in my tracks when he grabbed my hand. “Did I scare you or something? I promise I won’t hurt you” he said letting go of me and placing his hand on his head. I blinked my eyes again wondering if my eyes were damaged. “I never seen you before what’s your name stranger?” He asked me as I gulped a golf ball into my throat. “Hi-Hinata!” I said able to answer his question.
“Oh! Well I’m Nar-” “Naruto Uzumaki right!” I shouted now realizing i cut him off short of his sentence. My face turned ruby red with embrassment by my actions. He started laughing taking the oppisote reaction i had in mind. “I never knew I was popular” He said proudly with a chuckle, with a smile pastered on his face, I was amazed by his smile that it took my breath away.
“Sorry again about the swing..” I said playing with my fingers which was a horrible habit of mine. “Well you didn’t let me finish...I was going to say that we can both sit on it together” He repiled. ‘Both...together’ I thought as my mind went on overdrive with excitment from those words.
“to...together?” I said making sure I heard him right. “Well not unless you don’t-” “I’ll love to!” I yelled surprising both of us but myself the most about my out bursts. He flashed another famous smile of his and proceed on the edge of the seat. He patted the spot where I would sit.
I sat down seeing a whole another perpection I would have missed without knowing about it. Everything seemed nicer,It had stopped raining by now bringing out the billions of stars lighting up the universe with an dazzling view, attracting my eye’s attention. I looked at Naruto awkwardly.
“For once I’m not alone tonight” Naruto whispered looking towards the stars as if he searching for a answer that was hidden, I did not speak knowing my ears were not suppose to hear that. I wasn’t the only one with the feeling of loneliness.
which for a second made me happy. For once I was now thinking the rain before was crying tears of joy rather than sadness for me.
“Naruto?” I said
“Can you..no sorry...will you be my friend?...I know it might be-”
“I’ll love to Hinata-chan” He said smiling but it was directed to me which caused me to smile back
After that, I was around Naruto everyday at our excat spot under the tree on the swing. It was my place of paradise, no our paradise we created together. Even sometimes we would have pinics there. I came to a realization later that I was Naruto’s one and only friend, the only one who didn’t look at him with such dreadful eyes but replaced with happinesss, and trust.
“Naruto this is dumb!”
“Ha! do you trust me or not?”
“You already know I do”
I didn’t stutter as much the more i hanged around with him. Naruto smiled more often which I liked the most. But now that I was now labeled as his friend, people treated me the same way with those glares but I was used to it as I suffered about the same way before with my bloodline, but this time I never wasn’t alone on this fight. It was me and Naruto against the world
“Ew!! Why did you bring bugs!”
“To scare you~”
“There’s a lizard too! awesome!”
“You’re not easy to scare huh?”
“You have to try harder than that~”
I become a partner of crime of his pranks, though i objected at first but he conviced me so quickly. So everyday we would be used to running away from our pursuers from our crimes we knew we committed.
“Hey Hinata-chan! Want to paint the hokage momuntment again?” Naruto asked happy for another round of that prank it was his favorite. But then something strange happened.
“Why do you hang around with me Hinata-chan?” Naruto asked as his face turned between concern and serious
“Because I’m your friend duh” I said quickly
“Haven’t you heard yet?”
“About what?” I said curious to hear this out
“I’m a monster...I don’t deserve someone nice like you” Naruto said pointing his eyes to the floor to avoid my eye contact
“You? a monster? I think people are going insane these days” I said meaning it to its full content
“But-” He protested
“Look Naruto, You have a nose?” I said touching his nose
“Ears?” I repiled pulling his ear
“ Hair? Got plenty of that too”
“Yes of course I’m not bald”
“A mouth too?” You look human enough to me I don’t see any fangs or wings growing so I don’t believe for a single minute that you’re a monster but the Naruto Uzumaki, the hyper active nuckle head i know” “Now you got the brushes right?” He smiled and nodded
“Hinata..do you want me to walk you home?” Naruto asked politely. “Yeah why not” I said. A question popped in my mind, I wondered ever since I first met Naruto where he lived and if he liked going there.
“I wondered for a while about where you lived”
“Oh!~ I just live in a shabby old apartment nothing secial really” He said but I could tell he was getting uncomertable.
“Um...Naruto Who are your parents?”
“...I don’t know, I never did”
My eyes wided in amazement that the fact Naruto was a orphan. “Look Hinata I need to go but here...” Naruto said putting a note inside my hand and instantly turned around running away. “Naruto!” I yelled but he was already gone. I crushed the note from my frustation and stuffed into my pocket
When i arrived at my house...alone, i replayed the scene a dozen times seeing the flaws I should have seen earlier.
“Hinata” I heard that once I entered. “Yes Ko?” I said as he was standing across from me. He was like my body guard
“I need to talk to you about your friend”
I gritted my teeth together. First I made Naruto upset but now I was going to have a lecture, i feel my anger was about to burst open and expose itself.
“You spied on me didn’t you?!” I said angered thinking the only reason this came to be.
“I was only spying to protect you”
“Protect? why would I need protecting?” I said getting tired of this conservation.
“You are not permitted to see that boy anymore from now on”
“Well that boy is named Naruto, and what is so wrong with hanging around with him?
Why does everyone look with him with haterd?
Why are everyone including yourself are so ingluded into my life?”
“...Why do people think he is a...monster?” I said feeling the tears starting to form
“Hinata, those are all difficult questions to answer but I promise you will understand as you grow up but you are too young”
“What’s so difficult about it? Maybe it’s just difficult for only you to accept that I’m acutally happy”
“Go to your room now Hinata that’s an order” Ko finished waiting for me to obey.
“ Ko out of all people I thought you would be happy for me rather than be negatiate.” I said having the last word. Ko kneed down to my size and tried taking my hands to comfert me but i flinched them away before he had the chance.
“Stupid Ko!” I said taking out my energy on a pillow verison of him.I held back my tears. I suddleny realized that Naruto gave me a note from before.
I took it out, and opened it.
Meet me at the our usual spot at 8pm so don’t be late! No excuses
I looked straight at my clock with a fear that I had missed it by a long shot. 7:55 pm was the answer the clock showed me which put me in a deep shock. Only time spared me was 5 minutes but the question that lured into me was would I make it in time? Would Naruto really show up? Plus why does he in the first place want me to meet him there?
I shooked my head washing away the words. I don’t have time to think I had to no matter what go there even if meaning disobeying Ko’s words and escaping from this now prision I was caged in. I had the advantage though since I lived here my whole life I knew every corner and wall on the back of my hand. For once my small firgure was good since the guards would not be in eye’s reach of me.
The only thing I needed to be careful of was Ko. But even him couldn’t catch me with my determination as my shadow. I slowly, and decialty pushed the door a pinch seeing if anyone was walking in the hallways. The coast was clear so I proceed with light steps. I was careful of not taking deep breaths by the time I was at the back door I looked back and ran out.
It was already nightfall which didn’t surprise me but I had wasted alot of time so I ran with all my streagth. Rain fell from the sky while water hitted every part of my body as if it was targeting only me as it’s victum. My breath grew more heavy but I declined every chance I wanted to stop and take a breath. I had to meet Naruto, I had to tell him I was sorry for what I had said or about how Ko wouldn’t let me see him anymore. I had to tell him...everything.
My feet gave away sweeping me underneath causing me to fall on the hard concrete floor. I flinshced in pain my entire body shooked. I fell back down when thunder roared against the heavens. I clenched my hands into fists where Naruto’s note still stayed there in my safely.
I stood up again continuing what I was doing previous with more energy than before. My spirits rose when I started to see in the distant our spot. I stopped in my tracks, and smiled to my fullest. Naruto was there walking back and forth impatiently. ‘He waited for me this whole time even when it was raining’
I don’t know why I stood there he probably couldn’t see me but yet I wanted to remember him this way before I came into the picture. I slowly walked towards him, though in my blood I wanted to run into his arms but I was able to keep it under control. He started walking away. Wait? what why is he walking away? was I really that late?
“Naruto!” I yelled with all my might “Naruto!” I repeated knowing the rain blocked off the noise level. “Naruto!” i kept shouting as I ran towards him screaming his name.
“Shouldn’t you check up on Hinata Ko?” A guard said looking worried. Ko simply stood there with a grin on his face he repiled with a slip of tea. “Would you want some tea? You been on duty for a while” “But sir-” He protested as he didn’t want Ko to see him as weak and couldn’t stand tall in his postion. “Ah don’t worry I’ll check on her right now okay” Ko answered walking into the hallways leaving the guard alone with a steaming cup of jasmine tea which he couldn’t resit longer drinking it unprotected.
“Ah that Hinata” Ko said as he arrive at the front entrance of her room which was rarely quiet as he suspected her taking out her anger in any form of method. “Hinata?” He said as he opened the door. He looked around the room seeing if she was trying to hide from him until he left, but he was wrong when he caught something on her bed. There laid a folded note on her pillow.
“Hm?” He said to himself picking it up. He read the letter twice making sure of what she had written as true. He lowered his hand seeing he didn’t need the note any longer. “Ko?” A name called him as the guard from before stood in the door frame with an puzzled look imprinted on his face. “Where’s Hinata?” “Don’t be such a worry wart, it seems our little Hinata has been growing up faster than excepted” “Um..sir? What do you mean by that?” “Nah nothing just speaking to myself out loud, now how did you like the tea?” “Huh?! What tea?”
I waited there under by the spot for Hinata-chan. Shivers went down my sphine as i grew impatient by every second. ‘Will she come?’ ‘Did she forget?’ I paced back and forth thinking what I should do. My brain told me to leave, that she wouldn’t come because it was raining, but my heart disagreed saying to stay as long as I could. So I was at a tug of war with myself
My brain slowly won as I started walking away but yet with each step my feet grew heavier. A buzz entered my ear causing me to stop. I looked around seeing if something moved, but due to the rain everything was thick like a fog covering my vision. I shaked my head saying to myself I was being paranoid and I had my hopes too high. ‘Am I just overreacting?’
“Naruto!” Yes this time I heard it for sure. “Hinata?” I shouted back looking desperatly “Naruto-kun!” Hinata said as she tackled me emerging out. “Am I too late Naruto-kun?” Hinata said hugging me. I patted her head “No you were right on time” “Naruto I’m sorry! please forgive me I didn’t mean to upset you, I shouldn’t have even mentioned your parents I should had been more careful and minded my own business!” Hinata blabbed on. I did not know why but I smiled.
“Yo-you aren’t mad?” She said when she saw me smiled. “No that was a long time ago Hinata and either way you were going to find out about my parents” I answered as we departed our arms to see our faces. “Plus what does this rain remind you of Hinata” I said taking out my hand in mid air as a net to catch the moist raindrops
Hinata’s eyes wided as I could tell she remembered it clearly like I did. “The day we first became friends” i answered for her. “Hinata, I wanted you to meet me here was because...its been 3 months excatly since that day” I said embrassed with blush flowing. “You re-remembered such a thing Naruto?” she repiled still surprised. “Yes...Why wouldn’t I? It was the day I meet you that my life changed”
“You baka! Why didn’t you tell me that earlier! I would have dressed nicer, I thought we were going to do another one of your pranks!” She yelled. “I wanted to surprise you also you look fine like that” She stopped talking and smiled “Well at least you did that part perfect” “But- I have something to confess Naruto..”
“Me too” I said feeling the same way. I even noticed about how lavandar her eyes were making my heart skip a beat everytime perfectly. “What about this on the count of 3 we say it at the same time?” I purposed an idea. She nodded with a confident smile.
“I love you Hinata!”
“Ko won’t let me see you anymore!”
We both stared at each other with disbelief, not clearly sure of what to think about anything. I just realized my confession was thrown into the atomsphere never going back but staying there permanet. Now the thing I feared most was being denied.
Hinata’s words stung me as I thought today was my last day I could spend with her. Why must things...be so messed up? Why are things turning like this?
“You...You love me...Naruto?” Hinata asked, I gulped since my heart was skipping more than usual. I looked at her as if it was the last time. Her raven colored hair danced beauitfully bringing out her pale face. “I love you Hinata. it’s true” She started to cry but I couldn’t decide if she was crying over being overjoyed or sadness but it left me more confused than ever. “Its okay if you don-”
“That’s so weird...”
“Whats weird?” I asked
“...the weird thing is...I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you Naruto”
“You see...just smiling with you everyday made me the happiest girl in the world”
“Your smile itself alone saved me”
‘She loves me?’ ‘She acutally loves me back?’ I was speechless for the first time in my life. “So Naruto...I love you too”. “I’m such a crybaby...Men like me shouldn’t be crying” I said as tears on que fell down my flushed red face.
“Hinata...before I was always alone everywhere I went. Everyone looked at me the same way, but you were different than the rest of them because when I first saw you sitting on the swing you didn’t look at me like that but a regular human being”
“The more I spend time with you I felt my heart was being healed even though it seemed the damaged was too big”
“You stole my heart with your kindness”
“Naruto,you know what stands in the way right?” Hinata said knowing both of us had to discuss either way but the same time kind of ruining the moment. “Ko right?” I answered. it might have been because I knew Hinata was finally mine but the answer came to me.
“Things will turn out good in the end Hinata do you know why?”
“Wh-why?” She said
“Because” I said placing my hand on her heart and lead her hand to touch mine. Her heart was beating so quickly but matched my rhyme too meaning we were both feeling the same thing.
I leaned closer to her face seeing that up close it was more amazing than i imagined.She blushed knowing what was coming up next but lean closer. I put my lips against her kissing her, which I wanted to do for a long time but I waited for the perfect moment like this.
“Because...As long as our hearts are beating side by side... we’re inseparable”
Well first off, this story is told between the time period of when Naruto and Hinata first enter the academy. This is my first contest I ever done so I was very excited when I wrote this piece. but OMG I would have changed so much stuff but I had to stay true to my first draft though some parts I thought were really chessy but I'm probably just paranoid ^^", but I do enjoy writing about my favorite couple from Naruto, NaruHina. It does seem so unfinished though...Well I really hope you enjoy it!! If you want to learn more about the contest here's the link!~
I just wanted to stop by and say I enjoyed reading your piece. You have some very nice imagery in this story, and I really liked the pacing that you used, the way you built everything up to Naruto's big confession only to have Hinata tell him that she was forbidden from seeing him any more was an interesting twist on the usual NaruHina tropes.
I hope I didn't ruin your vision of the story with my editing.
You can find what I did to it here: NaruHina: Inseperable (Edited)
Good luck in the contest!!!
Thank.thank chu >///< I really appicate your positive comments >////<
And I didn't know it was you lol >.< but the link you sent me doesn't lead me anywhere o.o?
This was cute, but I have to say, there were spelling mistakes, (we all make them) and some of the scenes were a little confusing (was Ko trying to be Hinatas father-figure). but all-in-all, not bad of a story. However if I could offer a little suggestion, I say make the scene when Ko speaks with another gaurd, make Ko into Hiashi, and Ko the gaurd. Kinda makes more sence if Ko wasn't looking like he let his boss' daughter run-away. But I like the rain scenes and how it was Naruto said "I love you" first. It was a nice twist. Take my advice or not but good story, I like the origionality and hope you write more. 'Kay, Peace.
I know about spelling errors lol but i guessed since it was raw i'll just leave it XD but really thanks for your comment I do like when someone thinks truthfully on their mind plus makes me become a better writer myself. And yes I did get that kind of vibe on Ko but I thought it was kind of good since though out the series Ko protects her like a father, but I do admit that would be a better scene of it if rather her father than Ko!~ I would have changed alot of things actually but you have to stay true to the first draft lol but im still so happy you loved it (XD i didn't know i would have written a long comment XD lol)
I'm glad you understand, and thanks for taking my advice. Also if you keep up with the details on what they are doing than that conects the reader with the situation. Okay. I gotta go, I'm tring to keep this comment short. Later.